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December 25 A new birthWhat is Christmas? Is it the exchange of gifts, the frenetic persute of the perfect item for that loved one who is so hard to buy for? Is it the endless set of year-end parties and shallow good wishes for people we niether care for or wish to socialize with? Is it the too-short break for taking a deep breath before diving head first into the new year and all its promise?
For many people, this is the sad truth - the celebration of the birth of the saviour of the world reduced to a shallow, commercial holiday. Far too often this is what Christmas has become for me too.
This year was different though. I have experienced this momentus day with a new understanding of the eternal significance of the gift that God gave us so many years ago. As the year has progressed through August, and on to the year's end, I have slowly but steadily gained new insights into God's unconditional love for me. God has chosen to reveal a glimpse of his purpose for me, and I have begun to regain the passion I once possessed as a younger person! I have learnt to place my trust in Him and His perfect timing, knowing for certain that His plan is perfect in both timing and execution.
He has blessed me with new beginnings in many aspects of my life, and I am experiencing a new sense of peace with the world and especially myself. I think this is the first time that I am beginning to really believe that His plans for me will bring the kind of joy I cannot find on my own. Already the blessings He has showered on me have brought me great joy, and I find myself wanting to come ever closer to Him.
Perhaps I am speaking too soon, but in the last week or so, I can say with honesty that I believe I have discovered the answer to life in all its abundance, and it is to be found in the worship of, and obedience to God. He is our creator, and no-one understands better than He what brings us alive! The mistake most of us make is that we think we know this answer better than He does. Once we surrender properly, and seek His will for our lives, He can begin to show us the great plans He has for us. Plans to bring us Joy, not sorrow.
So Christmas for me this year is the celebration of God's incredible gift of Jesus, who left the safety and comfort of God's presence to come and live amongst us. He experienced all the joy, excitement, temptation, hardship, pain and mortality which comprise a human life. He did this to lead us back to him by example, not expecting us to approach His throne of our own volition, but coming out to us to personally invite us come in and be adopted as sons of The King.
Now I can truly say: MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!! May you come ever closer to God in the year to come. Seek Him and you will find Him. He is waiting with great excitement to reveal His perfect plan for your life. Give your all to Him and He will make you a new person. December 10 My home is empty and so am II put my children on an aeroplane this afternoon at one 'o clock. Up until then today had fairly whizzed by, and then suddenly they were gone. I drove home in silence, unable even to listen to the radio, all the while knowing that they were still at the airport, but beyond my reach. I arrived home to an empty flat; no sound of play-station, no children's clothes lying around, my study once again a place of work. Every room feels so empty.
For the first time I think I'm experiencing what they must feel every time I visit and then leave again. Granted they still have their mother when I'm gone, but the pain of loss is keen. I'm feeling listless and unable to concentrate on anything that requires much thought. I feel an ache deep inside me, a longing to have them near me again.
We've had a wonderful week together, with many happy times and special moments. I will treasure these memories and try to keep them fresh in my mind until I see them again. December 03 Time flies when you're having fun!Life seems to be rushing by at the moment! So many things are happening and much of it is "December Fever." It's quite amusing to me that we all slog through a year, building to a creshendo during the christmas season, and then tell ourselves that we've gotten another year behind us, while we brace ourselves for the new year. Are we really ready for a new year though? These days I'm lucky if I get fifteen working days off during a year, hardly enough to get a real rest. I'm starting to think I shall have to fling myself from this treadmill before it becomes faster than I can run!
Anyway, for better or worse this week is "time off" and dedicated to my children. They arrived on Friday evening and so far we've had a wonderful time together. I'm not sure if it counts as rest time for me, but it definitely qualifies as an emotional recharge! This is the first time I've had them live with me in my flat, and it feels really great. I will remember the happy sounds of my children between these walls for many moons to come.
I have some activities planned for this week, but mostly there'll be lots of time spent doing really ordinary stuff together. Today I tought Melissa how to play my version of "Patience" with a pack of playing cards I just bought. Angus and I spent some time together reading (separate books) before he turned in for the night. These are the times I really treasure - just me and my children, being together, killing time ... secure in the deep, unconditional love we share as father and children.
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