So I've been riding the bicycle I bought quite a bit lately, and this afternoon I decided to expand my route by quite a large margin from about 6 kilometers to about 9 (a little over 5 miles.)  Not very far, but then I'm not trying to become a professional cyclist!  This is not the point of my story though:

 

Near the end of my round-trip, I was heading down the home straight at quite a lick, and feeling somewhat proud of myself for being there with a lot of energy to spare, when I rode over a particularly large bump in the road.  Woah!!! Next thing I know my handle-bars are pointing thirty degrees to the left, but my front wheel is still heading straight.  What to do...

 

My first instinct was to brake hard and shed speed quickly, but as I was about to, I suddenly imagined putting strong forces onto my front wheel without much control over its direction!  Hmmmm, maybe not.  So I pulled gently on the brakes and came gingerly to a stop.  Now what?  I'm still a good kilometer from home, and I have a bike that is well nigh impossible to steer.

 

No tools either.  (Who needs tools on a bicycle trip!?)  Well, I really didn't feel like walking the rest of the way, so I rode home very slowly, taking the corners very carefully, and somehow managed to make it.  Strangely enough, the front wheel still seemed to follow the general direction of the handle bars, even though precise steering was impossible.

 

When I finally got home, and stowed the bike safely inside, I got to trying the play on the handle-bars.  Would you believe?  Thirty degrees was the maximum play there was!  The steering was loose but not completely gone, although it could have pulled right out, and I shudder to think what would have happened if it did!  (Especially at 50km/h, which was roughly what I was doing at the time I first noticed it.)

 

So ... my cheap bicycle has now let me down twice, first when the left pedal came loose (that's another story on its own,) and now the handle bars.  It would appear that the age-old adage applies:  "You get what you pay for."

I received a fantastic email last night!  It was from Angus (my son) and contained a video of him playing a song for his music concert.  I'm really impressed with what he has acheived in the last few months!  I had some serious doubts a little while back because he didn't seem to be showing much interest, and both the keyboard we bought and the music lessons themselves cost a lot of money!

 

Anyway, that's all moot now because it seems he's really getting into it.  It strikes me as I write this: that he's really taken off since he changed music teachers, so perhaps his new teacher is really gifted.  Whatever the reason, I am really pleased that he's doing so well!

 

Melissa has also made me proud by getting voted "quality kid" by her class at school.  It really warms my heart to know that my children are getting on well despite the fact that they have had to live through a divorce. 

I learnt some valuable lessons yesterday in terms of avoiding temptation.   The subject is part of my bible study at the moment, and my group discussed it at length.  One of the key points that came out, is that one of the most effective ways of defeating temptation is not to try and "face it down,"  but to set one's mind on other things as quickly as possible.  This is not easily done, but does seem to work very well.

 

The trick is to find something else interesting to think about the moment tempation starts, and to remove oneself from a situation if it looks like being too difficult to refocus one's thoughts.  I had opportunity to practice this today when I was sorely tempted to pass a rather suggestive comment to a female colleague, but was able to refocus on the work issue at hand.  "So what?" I hear you asking, "men are full of sexually suggestive banter and it doesn't really mean anything."  Yes and no.  The fact that a comment is made in the first place is indicative of a thought process, and I know for myself that such thoughts are not generally helpful.

 

Am I being hard on myself?  Well yes, I suppose so, but there is a short path from God-given (and healty) attraction to unhealthy lust.  At best lust is distracting, and at worst it destroys lives, so best to refocus my thoughts and fix my mind on good things.  Difficult, but safer for both my ego and my ultimate well being.  I've dragged my name through the mud before when I was fixed on what was essentially infatuation, and it did not further my cause, in fact it made things far worse.  I'll not make that mistake again, at least I hope not.

 

So this subject is well worth discussion for me, especially for some future time when I find myself sorely in need of clear-headed advice.  I know well that if I let myself fall "in love," I cannot hear any sensible advice from my friends, so reading something I myself have written may be useful.  I think my advice to myself right now is to keep my mind focused away from women.  I know God has planned for me in this regard, and it is for me to wait on Him for the right person and time.  Perhaps I've already met her, perhaps not, right now it is not for me to know.

 

Of course none of this stops my senses from working, and they make life very difficult for me sometimes. 

 

On another not entirely:  Where I work there are many people, and I know most of them by name but I don't really have much contact with a lot of them.  That was why I was most flattered when someone I've seen many times in passing greeted me by name.  It's interesting to me how much of a difference that made for me, and if it makes a huge difference for me, it means I need to work harder at remembering peoples' names.

I received a delivery of music today which I ordered online a little while back.  One of the CDs is Faithless' No Roots.  Wow!  If you enjoy electronica then you will love this album.  I think it may be their best yet, and I've heard most of what they have to offer.  I'll put up a sample when I get a chance.

 

So much has happened in my life recently, but I find myself unable to write about it at the moment.  I'm not sure why this is although it may be that my thoughts need to distill a bit before I can express them well.  Suffice it to say that I alternate between being completely at peace and feeling very restless.  Perhaps it's just me wrestling with past experiences, trying to let go, and at the same time living through major changes in my view of life and everything that it is.  It is both exciting and terrifying; with time I hope to get more thoughts down into print.

 

One thing is for certain:  I'm feeling the pull of my passion for music more and more as time passes.  I don't know where this desire is leading, but I believe it will be an interesting journey indeed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People are as unpredictable as the weather.  I suppose it's because there are always so many variables at work in our individual lives.  I have made the mistake many times of gauging peoples' feelings toward me by their verbal and non-verbal communication on a particular day.  Of course this can never work because there are always other factors at play which have nothing to do with me.  So as I look back on today, as I do on many days, I wonder at the causes of the varying attitudes of people around me.  There are many things I will never know.

 

Not knowing is not always the case though.  Sometimes I can see the motives and thoughts of a person just as clearly as if they were written on said person's forehead!  Perhaps it's a case of perspective, or maybe it's because sometimes you can see your own past in a person's present situation.  Perhaps you're reading this and wondering why I'm writing in such general terms?  All I'm prepared to say right now is that it's best that not everyone knows exactly what I'm thinking!

 

If you think this entry might be about you, you might be right, but then again, you might not!  That's the joy of not being able to read each other's minds, and I'm certain it both complicates and simplifies our lives on different occasions...

 

On another tack entirely:  I must have some of the most annoying tenants anyone could have living above me.  Granted, this is a single parent family and things must be tough sometimes, but I think the children above me are a classic example of what results when a parent doesn't provide adequate discipline.  As I write, two brothers are having a major barney: First there were many crashes and bangs, then much swearing (altogther too much for a nine year old and a twelve year old,) and now I hear crying - probably the result of a beating meeted out by an older sibling.  Where is the parent in all of this?  Good question!  I hear no sign of the parent at all.

 

So, I'll just break out the ear plugs yet again, and set my mind on other more pleasant topics.  I hope I'll be able to afford a house again one day!